The Maiden Voyage – April 11-18,
2014
Renae
arrived Friday in time to help with the last of the packing, filling, loading,
and hitching. Somehow I’d convinced her
to go along with my harebrained scheme. My
request was a simple one: “Make sure I
don’t do anything stupid.” She was happy
to comply and confident she could handle the job. She would end up contributing regularly
toward this goal for the rest of the weekend.
We got on the road just after noon, made a few stops, enjoyed the
journey, and dawdled just long enough till eventually we realized there would
be no time to pitch camp at Snow Canyon before Vince and Amy came on at
7:30. So we drove straight to Tuacahn
with our house on wheels. When the
parking attendant spotted me and my lot, he radioed in for instruction. I was directed to pull up and park right along
the driveway curb. We weren’t too concerned
about Luna staying in the trailer. It was
unlikely that anyone would hear a peep out of her. I gave her a short walk, and shut her in for
the evening.
Amy Grant and
I are the same age within a month. I
have been a fan since we were both 25.
I’d followed her music and her life, especially the chapter where she
and Vince wrote the end of their love story after six torturous years. I’d seen them perform together in 2007 at Deer Valley
Renae and I
grabbed a Pepsi and found our seats with 10 minutes to spare. Vince and Amy and their small band came out
right on time, Vince in some funky boxer shorts joking about the kind of man
Amy married, and opened with One More Last Chance. Then Amy took over vocals with Takes a Little
Time. They alternated songs for a while,
peppering the show with witty banter and mild complaints about the dry desert
clime. They’d flown into Vegas from Nashville
Amy forgot
the lines to one of her own tunes, recovered gracefully, and moved right
along. Paul Franklin on pedal steel was
a highlight. The six-piece band
consisted of a bassist, keyboardist, drummer, pedal steel, Vince, and Amy. It was so informal it was like hanging out
with them in their back yard. During
Baby Baby, Amy had to hit a high note, which she did, but then this kind of a
squeak came out. “Ohhhh, love that
desert air,” she intoned.
Vince launched into stories about his father, “a judge by
trade, but a redneck by birth”. He told
of his father giving him a banjo and teaching him the three chords he knew. Now you’re on your own, son. “A few chords on the banjo is the key to life,”
Vince observed.
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| Smile Luna! |
We got to Snow
Canyon
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| Snow Canyon |
Now on to Zion Zion
“Why is it so much heavier this time?"
“That’s ‘cause Renae’s not here. She’s a beast!”
Ohhhh those
boys are helpless. Their intentions are
good, but they seem confused by the amount of action that survival
requires. It occurred to me that if
anyone had asked them if they would perish in the outdoors, they would answer
with a chorus of “PRAHBably. PRABABLY. Praaaabably. PrahbahBLY
” with that Minnesota Minnesota
Later that night, they let me play Cards Against Humanity with them. It’s a game modeled after Apples to Apples, but that’s where the similarities end. There is nothing righteous about this game. Here’s how it started. The first question card was as follows:
Q: “When my dad had his midlife crisis, he really got into _________.”
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| The Gentlemen's Club |
Later that night, they let me play Cards Against Humanity with them. It’s a game modeled after Apples to Apples, but that’s where the similarities end. There is nothing righteous about this game. Here’s how it started. The first question card was as follows:
Q: “When my dad had his midlife crisis, he really got into _________.”
The possible
answers were presented:
1) Pictures of boobies 2) Tasteful sideboob 3) Something I can’t recall
John Henry who was judge and jury, after seeing our responses, took mock offense with “What are you guys saying about my dad?” before picking “Tasteful sideboob” as the obvious winner.
1) Pictures of boobies 2) Tasteful sideboob 3) Something I can’t recall
John Henry who was judge and jury, after seeing our responses, took mock offense with “What are you guys saying about my dad?” before picking “Tasteful sideboob” as the obvious winner.
Okay, now that
you get the idea, think about these for a minute:
Q: “Here is the church,
here is the steeple. Open the door and
see ___________.”
Several rank
questions (and ranker responses) into the game, and after I’d actually won a
couple of hands, Cameron says, “For some reason, it’s twice as funny when it’s
Carol’s card.”
John Henry: “You learn a lot about a person.”
My favorite
“answer” card of all was “50,000 volts straight to the nipples”. This card is funny no matter when it is
played. If you are that type of
individual.
Next day, I had to move the trailer. It’s a long story, but I had to move to a new campsite each day. What a pain. To boot, they squished all the
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| Eclipse viewed from Virgin River Gorge |
By Tuesday,
all the inconveniences – leashed pets, crowds, moving campsites, checkout
times, crabby moms, and caterpillar infestations took its toll. The boys declared victory and their intent to
depart a day early. They went off to
hike Angel’s Landing while I contemplated my next move. I thought to visit Shirley, but it would take
me far easterly. I called Layne to see
what he would have to say on the matter, and to return his call from the
previous week. After I brought him up to
speed on The Adventures of Luna, he referred me to a camp spot not far
up the highway -- Red Cliffs Recreation Area.
We made plans to meet up in Baker, Nevada
During my
grocery run, I met Ron from Toquerville who had just opened a B&B at his
home “across from the old church as you come into town”, and who was in need of
some coffeemaking tips which I cheerfully provided. He got me to promise to stop by if I were
ever within shouting distance:
Red Cliffs is
a small campground of twelve campsites, and I snagged the last spot. I met some friendly people from Wisconsin Washington
Luna and I had some time to kill, so we took a morning hike through the red cliffs behind our campsite. I sat for a while and contemplated the sandstone cathedral that stood before me, the majesty of it and its maker, and the sweetness of this life. Then we broke camp in time to stop by the ghost towns ofHarrisburg
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| Morning Hike at Red Cliffs |
Luna and I had some time to kill, so we took a morning hike through the red cliffs behind our campsite. I sat for a while and contemplated the sandstone cathedral that stood before me, the majesty of it and its maker, and the sweetness of this life. Then we broke camp in time to stop by the ghost towns of
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| The |
Layne and I arrived at our planned rendezvous point just ten minutes apart. It was great to see my old friend, and Luna was obviously happy to have him join our party. We picked our “primo” campsite there at the barely-better-than-KOA, and pulled in. As is typical, Layne had me set up before I could unpack my pantywaist. I put together a green salad with chicken and vegetables, and we headed out for a sunset drive up to
Back at camp,
there was the hard choice between gavotting over to the little bar (where they’d
welcomed Luna right in earlier) or retiring to the cozy confines of the
camper. We opted for a cutthroat
cribbage game and a strum-n-singalong.
Next day
after breakfast, we scooted off to find Gandy Warm Springs which had been
highlighted in some geologic survey notes and previously discussed as a
desirable destination. 30 miles of dirt
road later, we found it, though we’d imagined it to be bigger than these small
pools. After determining that this was
indeed the place, we donned our suits. I
beat the rest of the troupe into the lower pool and discovered a small cave
that could hide me just long enough to get them wondering. It was amazing to be hidden away, tucked
under the mossy ledge, just out of sight.
The cave even went back a ways!
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| Gandy Warm Spring |
Dinner that night was smoked sausage smothered with chili. We wanted to tour the caves before our leavetaking the next day, so a few songs then off to bed. In the morning as we readied the camper for departure, the neighbor remarked to Layne that the only cave tour openings that day were at 9 am, 1 pm, and 3 pm. Checking our watches and time zones, we figured we had 13 minutes to get to the cave. Remarkably, I had my socks, shoes, purse, and water bottles all on my person. Luna had been fed and so had we. We jumped in the truck and raced up to the visitor’s center, unsure we could pull off the race successfully. But we arrived with 90 seconds to spare, and we were in.
The caves were of course, incredible. We viewed awesome and grotesque formations such as soda straws, cave bacon, the ear canal, the music room, and Jabba the Hutt (lots of him). The lighting in the cave was very well done, illuminating tucked away nooks and entire rooms. We listened to our guide tell about the history of the cave find and the legends surrounding it. The actual cave time lasted about an hour, after which we were very glad to see daylight again.
| |
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| Lehman Caves |
Q: “Here is the church,
here is the steeple. Open the door and
see _black people_.”
Q: “My country tis of thee,
sweet land of __leprosy__.”
I had so much fun on the maiden voyage that I wasn’t ready
to come home, even after a week on the road.
There are some definite advantages to hauling your own bathroom around
with you. If I’d simply done one load of
laundry, I could have spent another week wandering around. It made me realize that I will not struggle
with finding meaningful purpose once retirement finally arrives. A furnace, a small fridge, a hot shower, a
comfy bed, and endless adventure sounds like the perfect way to see out the
rest of my days.
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